Genesis
In the beginning, there was writing and the writing was weird. There was the hundred-year high tide that had the houseboats anchored to tractors at the end of the dock, lest we all float away in flood. Neurosis and sexual frustration abounded over the deep mental divides and there were yet more words to contend with. This is the story, from the beginning:
1/18/2005 - Start of School Statistics
Generous whining about being back in school, and the first writing about Boobjob. Incidentally, she busted me on this as soon as she saw the website. It was very embarrassing.
1/21/2005 - My Concession Speech
What happens when everyone you know is sitting at the edge of their seats hoping you get hired as a pornographer and then you don't get the job? You write a concession speech to tell everyone the bad news.
1/26/2005 - Strange Letter of Rejection
And then it really gets weird. After choosing the other guy, they offer me freelancing in directing and then robotics. Later they offer me a second site they are anticipating that would be fucking machines from the stereotype of a women's perspective. This is my response.
1/29/2005 - Kisses for the Director
Even when you don't get the job as a pornography, the kinky folks like you. I had at least 15 minutes with some small scale fame at a party with beautiful singing girls.
February 2005
2/6/2005 - Ass Clown
This is the first tale of my not-dates with S, preceded by descriptions of my other types of foolishness.
2/12/2005 - Valentine's Virgin
The clinic was probably wrong, but I spent two years thinking my hymen was still intact. This became an issue because I hadn't had real sex since the pronouncement and was looking to get some soon.
2/13/2005 - Dominatrix Shopping Spree
In a torture festival that I only document in this odd picture form, I take S on one of our not-dates and make her praise my ass. Anyway, there are pictures of my ass in leather!
2/15/2005 - Tits, Ass & Pussy
-or-
Parallel Universes
Rain falls in the harbor and my very sweet neighbors set me up with their very sweet daughter's friend. Boobjob debuts in the full glory of her title. I have crazy second dates with both women and set up the scene for even weirder third dates.
2/18/2005 - Potty Break
This is the first of several rants and raves about my boat. In particular I talk about the boat bathrooms or lack thereof.
2/19/2005 - Novice High
Another not-date with S. We go to a SM event to watch each other get undressed and abused.
2/23/2005 - Bush Whacking
Odd musings about fighting Bush through environmental entrepreneurialism and shaving pussy.
2/25/2005 - I got laid!
Just kidding. But Boobjob got laid. I can't give you the details because I wasn't there. On a related note some people are of the opinion that I just need to get laid and then I will stop with this neurotic blog. They obviously don't know me very well.
2/25/2005 - Sideshow
Funny and brutal sexual fantasies about Boobjob in the face of her seeming indifference.
2/26/2005 - Kiss
It finally happens. After lots of avoidance and flirtation, there is a very strange first kiss with Boobjob.
2/28/2005 - Reckless
Twenty-four hours after I first kiss Boobjob, S and I finally stop "not-dating" and kiss. Then there is havoc and hurt from Boobjob, but I make reckless amends.
March 2005
3/3/2005 - The Easy Orgasms
While Boobjob is off with her fuck buddy, I scheme for some teenage fooling around in the car with S.
3/5/2005 - Abrasion and Resistance
Shaving pussies, odd communication and finally strange first sex with Boobjob.
3/7/2005 - Tender Gravity
A poetic remix of that fist sex.
3/13/2005 - L-Word
Taking a break from the dating drama, I give too much commentary on the lesbian love/hate relationship with the L-word
3/16/2005 - The Gates Are Closed
Despite some weird first time sex, Boobjob and I barrel on through sex and roadblocks and even our first fight.
3/21/2005 - Knuckle Down
Ani Difranco croons out her song of longing for more. Boobjob says it reminds her of me, and I listen hard trying to detach. I don't want to be the only one in love.
3/28/2005 - Driving
Boobjob saw the Knuckle Down post and writes saying just one thing. "It isn't true." I am dumbfounded and she calls me. "We are going somewhere." And then she hangs up. We end up going to Seattle, and on the way there is car sex.
April 2005
4/3/2005 - The Here and Now
S and I have sex finally and while it is sweet, I realize I am not the slut I wish I could be. I whine about a simpler time of doing one thing (or person) at once.
4/4/2005 - It's All Fun and Games until Someone Looses an Eye
Writing my site hurts people's feelings and by people I mean Boobjob. She is always the bad guy and it gets old. So, I whine.
4/16/2005 - Wheat and Chafe, Cat and Mouse
Love is the cat lurking in the shadow for the mouse. After giving up S, Boobjob and I confess in loveness, and Boobjob gives up her fuck buddy.
4/18/2005 - Benefits
Boobjob sends over the benefits package that follows her commitment to girlfriendhood.
4/25/2005 - Marked
More whining about my issues with sex, with my body, with Boobjob.
May 2005
5/1/2005 - Like a Dog with a Bone
I make several valiant attempts to dildo fuck Boobjob like an animal, with a constantly comic outcome.
5/12/2005 - Pink
Uncontrolled lust talk about Boobjob's body: I get to watch her come like a porn star and the next day she wakes up to wear pink.
5/15/2005 - Girl with a Green Dildo
Lesbian's keep their exs like no one else. I realize I am dating a lesbian when I find myself painting her ex-fuck who I deck out in a strap-on.
5/20/2005 - Shabbat
A stew of devout Judaism and game filled lesbian sex.
5/25/2005 - Down
Boat troubles get me down.
June 2005
6/6/2005 - Perfect
Soppy meandering on the different meanings of perfect as it applies to history, fruit and Boobjob.
6/13/2005 - Me of Little Faith
I play the foolish role of uncared for girlfriend only to be so very, very wrong.
6/13/2005 - Really Fake
Musings on what makes porn tick with some description of what it is like to shoot for fuckingmachines.
6/19/2005 - The Rest of My Life
Back in the porn business again, I go to work my first day as a contract director in a monogamous relationship.
6/19/2005 - Hot Sex
Recent sex incidents lead to a examination of the types of damage one can do to a clit.
July 2005
7/4/2005 - Happy Flag Worshiping Day!
Politics and comedy in the midst of patriotism. Incidentally, Boobjob now reports it was around this time that she transitioned from being "in love" to being "madly in love". There is no connection to the writing here, just proudly interjecting this tidbit. I can't help myself.
7/6/2005 - Someone Else's Pussy
Between childbirth and porn there is frustratio as I seem to be getting in everyone else's pussy but Boobjob's.
7/9/2005 - The Battle of the Sexes Goes DC
The exciting sequel to Down, and the continuing story of fixing critical areas of my boat.
7/12/2005 0:07:27 - Birth of a Stargazer
Alex pushes the baby into the world and I don't even get to see it happen.
7/13/2005 - Bathroom Humor
I have gender dysphoria when I go to the public bathroom. This is how it goes.
7/13/2005 - 10 Signs That I Have Become Poor White Trash
Well the title says it all, doesn't it?
7/14/2005 - A Snapshot in Time
A verbal documentary of shooting porn a la Melville and whaling.
7/16/2005 - The Competition
Fuckingmachines devises a very literal test to determine its next producer, which just makes me want to walk away.
7/20/2005 - Can You Say Crappy?
The continuation of some bad mechanical problems in boat and car that get me down.
7/21/2005 - The Party's Open
Notes on my two girl porn shoot for fuckingmachines. Plus as a special bonus, pictures!
7/22/2005 - Lola
The depressing tale of shooting with a porn star who really doesn't like the sex.
7/22/2005 - Luck
The server is down; I am driving my car with a screwdriver for a key; there are always boat problems. Still I am pretty lucky.
7/24/2005 - Porn Star Name
What happens when you get bunches of depraved and talented people together in one room: a porn company erupts. And then everyone needs their porn star names.
7/25/2005 - An Ode to Ass Floss
A treatise on Boobjob's underwear followed by turn around fair play.
August 2005
8/4/2005 - The Revolution
First the web changed the world; now there are podcasts. Predictions abound, but none like those in recent history.
8/11/2005 - The Update Update
Lame excuses as to my absence from web life. My apologies all around!
8/22/2005 4:00:47 - And Arnold Taketh Away
Arnold's April workman's comp reform hits close to home or close to the bone. At any rate there is great pain and generous worry.
8/29/2005 11:29:28 - Cockroach
Can you see the beauty of a cockroach? Maybe then you can see the beauty of symmetry and irony.
Setember 2005
9/6/2005 10:28:55 - Labor Day
My luck starts to turn on this last lazy day of summer.
9/8/2005 12:39:04 - Peripheral Vision
Fact and fiction in the heart of the eye, a soliloquy or apology to my love.
9/10/2005 10:04:35 - Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
A boat is a hole in the water to pour money. A livework rental in the city is a drafty concrete box attached to a sewer line that must be plumbed thereby carrying away what is left of the money. Boobjob says, "Flip a Coin."
9/12/2005 21:16:59 - Stay
The world turns without my say so. My boat struggles against me, and still I am forced to commit to her.
9/16/2005 10:08:56 - Bus Be Gone
The over long story of how I finally got off the bus.
9/21/2005 3:17:36 - Today, Tomorrow and ...
Bittersweet difficulties in dealing with my 84 year old great aunt.
9/23/2005 11:23:46 - The Fountain of Youth
Denver stories continue as Boobjob comes into town and makes everything wet.
9/24/2005 10:24:03 - Dysphoria
Us crabby folks in Denver and uncomfortable and dysphoric with everything. Then there is a cocktail party too.
October 2005
10/15/2005 14:26:07 - Shit on Hard
Rain then, rain now. It is all the same disaster.
10/16/2005 21:37:57 - Wendy's Party
More harbor gossip and hardship.
10/16/2005 21:39:38 - Interpretive Internet Dance
We bring you the joys of the Internet in three acts.
November 2005
11/1/2005 18:17:12 - Miraculous Appearances
An ode to the miracles of technology and the body.
11/12/2005 7:43:24 - Porn Flakes
What does a fledgling porn star have to say for himself? Whatever, as long as his wife doesn't find out.
11/23/2005 20:14:20 - No, Thank YOU!
The sex journals are back but in a whole new and complicated way. If that isn't bad enough we all have to act thankful now!
December 2005
12/9/2005 8:49:06 - Oh Come On!
A bitter Christmas song for you!
12/10/2005 21:14:57 - The Refrigerator Bathtub Bed
The cold winter has my conscious and subconscious mind worrying over exposure.
January 2006
1/9/2006 15:11:43 - A Day in The Sun
It's my lucky day, and I use it to try and bring my life back under control.
1/26/2006 16:36:13 - Terrorist Blues
Leopards don't change their spots, but chameleon's change everything. The bank sees a imaginary spots linking naked Americans to violent Muslims. What the fuck is going on? Well, it is all just business.
1/30/2006 10:31:19 - First Blush, First Slut!
Images from behind the scenes of our first two shoots. Yeah baby! And watch out, there is a penis.
February 2006
2/3/2006 0:41:37 - Sexually Frustrated Cowards
Sexual frustratio runs amok along side the seduction of strangers.
2/6/2006 20:57:12 - Dicks and Tricks
We try to hire a prostitute, and it goes all wrong. Then we are besieged by eager penises. Unfortunately, some of them talk. Finally we find a guy with a pie, who lights up our day, our week, maybe our month. And I finish with an unfilmed solo show. Porn is fun ... ny.
2/14/2006 12:32:17 - The Lesbian at The Bachelor's Party
Girls will be girls ... except when they are not really, but almost no one can make that distinction at the bachelor's party of Sincock.
March 2006
3/14/2006 9:13:46 - And The Righteous Will Inherit Mount Nipple
I put an ad up for female masturbators and instead I got righteous real estate people and men ... but they are coming later. Now on to some righteous indignation.
April 2006
4/11/2006 23:33:45 - Ah, Relationships!
The tangled difficulties of data interdependence metaphorically coalesce with Herman Mellvile, and of course sex.
May 2006
5/24/2006 10:38:33 - Let's All, Have a Good Time
The porn keeps on trucking. More notes on being a pornographer with a new ish truck.
June 2006
6/8/2006 8:53:45 - Bye Bye, Bella
A broken hearted eulogy to the car that ran on vegetable oil.
6/14/2006 1:40:16 - Last Sex in Brooklyn
The predicted break up has happened. So ends, except for the bitter post ramblings that I am sure will follow, the chronicles of Boobjob.
6/18/2006 16:22:39 - New York Scenes
Four scenes or dialogues that take place at various at various locations in the New York.
6/25/2006 11:44:46 - Porn by The Square Foot
Red Handed Porn is homeless with me, so we try to find an office that will take us. It is just so hard to leave.
July 2006
7/3/2006 10:16:35 - The Best Little Porn House in Berkeley
Blah, blah, blah ... more stuff about finding talent, sex work, being poor. But then some really interesting photos of a Berkeley apartment shared by a sex workers collective where we had the great privilege of shooting for a day.
7/12/2006 10:20:54 - So Ghetto! Part 1 of 2
This is the first part of a two part story. It was supposed to be three parts, but I am hella busy. It hurts me more than you. I will leave you readers to judge what the entire piece is about. This part, however, is surrounded by a shoot we did with Slide Seymour, an ambiguously gendered sexual performance artist.
7/18/2006 8:50:55 - So Ghetto! Part 2 of 2
And then I said to my neighbor, "You sank my battle ship." Well not really, just lots of sad weirdness with vehicles.
7/19/2006 7:45:43 - Mushroom Soup
"I don't long for the tedium or boredom that I know comes with routine, but I have growing nostalgia for the security it never provided. Nostalgia is the mushroom that grows off a willful extinction. I could live off mushrooms today."
7/30/2006 9:03:43 - What A Difference A Chaise Makes
After both strange and ordinary hardship, our new office comes together.
August 2006
8/11/2006 10:54:36 - Three Dogs Worth of Cold Showers
Exhausted ramblings about the merits of long hot environmentally unfriendly showers ... and when they will be coming to a Kane near you.
8/28/2006 23:12:42 - Terror At The T
There is a T at the end of every dock. T is what the trans guys call testosterone too. T could be for terror. I don't know, just read the fucking thing.
Setember 2006
9/2/2006 21:35:44 - Not A Pretty Thing
Lies and the cold fusion of hatred, breakup angst, Italian dyke machismo and the foolishness of love lost. Yes, I realize there are no verbs in that sentence. This is a story without plot or conclusion, so there you go.
9/13/2006 22:35:02 - Fat Orgasms
Fat, fat, fat. The concussive sound of a nasty snare, or a sexy dyke. It all depends on how you look at it.
9/23/2006 10:00:00 - Crippling Doubt
Rosh Hashana a time of reflection leads me to examine my life as a pornographer in the light of other accomplishments. Of course, it is hard to tease apart from the insult and demonization that comes my way.
9/24/2006 18:01:53 - Water Through My Hands
Our porn office got burglarized just after the first day of Rosh Hashanah closed. We didn't loose everything, but we lost.
October 2006
10/1/2006 10:01:35 - Mighty Mouse
The thief comes back, and gone is the mouse that would hide in the hull of a boat. She is replaced by a roving-eyed, religious fundamentalist who rubs elbows with members of the NRA in a plan to take the mother down.
10/6/2006 13:56:25 - Love Equations
The car breaks and is miraculously healed all proving something profound and scientific. Meanwhile there is another bout of engineering analysis applied to love. God help us, or at least bring a more useful miracle.
10/11/2006 15:18:00 - Bi Ambitions
Bisexuality is just so hip, I am trying to figure out how to become bisexual. I have lots of role modles and plenty of ideas. This one is long and broken into a theory section and a practice section. Don't try this at home.
10/13/2006 23:07:23 - Regret of the Mahogany Behemoth
This is a history of my regrets and boat choices. Sigh.
10/20/2006 0:49:05 - Stalker Days
Stalker is as stalker does. Stalker will be what was stalked. Huh? Yeah, well my weird past provides a great escape for the trauma of my present.
November 2006
11/1/2006 16:37:10 - Vampire Insurrection
Halloween is filled with vampires. Yeah, no new news there. These ones are real though.
11/7/2006 23:03:29 - Bum Tide
This post is an odd combination of reasons to vote and reasons to dredge out the marina.
11/23/2006 9:32:48 - Kiss - The Reprise
A second time at the first kiss ...
11/24/2006 12:58:32 - Happy Kinksgiving
In this fine tale Kanebus is a pilgrim to the Thanksgiving feasts of the greater bay area. Which is to say there was not just turkey, but also leather garments and spankings.
January 2007
1/6/2007 13:36:51 - Spank That Monkey
This is a simple rant about business, and in particular the business of pimping porn. Our billing company is the monkey and I tell you all the reasons it should be spanked.
1/10/2007 0:34:59 - On Being Wrong
Logic fails in the worst possible places.
1/15/2007 11:29:04 - Shelter In Place
My irresponsible corporate neighbor Chevron burns and as I await a boat to rescue us all, we "Shelter In Place". Meanwhile I daydream about making it big and fucking machines, while doing the worst bit of advertising I can muster.
1/29/2007 10:45:34 - Watching My Grass Grow
I built it, but they did not come ... at least no one is coming that isn't a performer. So, the marketing begins, and it isn't fun and it isn't pretty.
February 2007
2/4/2007 23:12:55 - Poke My Ass Crack &
Tell Me You Love Me
This is all the wrong kind of walk down memory lane. Maybe you should just skip it.
2/8/2007 1:06:52 - Double Dump Valentine
Fabulous valentine's fantasies about a sex party with my rejecting ex, at the place where I was last rejected for a porn job. It doesn't get sadder than this. Too bad it is also so hot.
2/15/2007 22:40:02 - Pray For Me, Fervorous,
Fundamentalist Feminists
A religion requires practice to keep the self-righteousness from abounding. Feminist abound and none of them are putting their money where their mouths are. The just run them. I am not excluded.
March 2007
3/1/2007 13:48:50 - Un-ALT-erably Yours
This is the story of the hardships of policing, failure and success in activism, all neatly wrapped up in a story about marketing alternaporn.
3/2/2007 14:26:42 - Falling Into The Great Divide
I am still struggling with my place in the world of porn and activism.
3/24/2007 20:29:57 - Goating Around
Spring is in the air and the goats are my sign.
April 2007
4/5/2007 8:38:07 - Hocking Fruit With Bigger Balls
I got grandly insulted with an accounting job. I would almost rather be offered a used car sales job. Then there is the issue of balls, to have or not to have.
4/8/2007 11:32:44 - Drunken Confessions
Confessing to a drunk is a lonely act that is also completely freeing. You can say anything, just as they have accidentally said everything.
4/21/2007 12:05:12 - On An Eastbound Train To Denver
I get on my train and enjoy the ride. Lots of boring descriptions of the plains ensue.
4/25/2007 9:22:53 - Hey Dumbshit!
My aunt drives me so crazy, I can't even remember my name.
May 2007
5/8/2007 9:41:29 - What Comes Around Goes Around
Shipwrecks, cat worry and community service come and go around.
5/13/2007 13:32:03 - The Ground Where I Stand
Boobjob is back from the undead. Work is going the worst kinds of wrong. Then there is an explosion in the office. Things can only get better with alcohol.
5/29/2007 18:39:32 - Cracker Dykes
PMS or a proliferation of frustration cause fighting with male strangers that almost leads to violence.
5/31/2007 10:52:36 - Dream And Drink
Tales of artists in America with careers to sustain them and drinking to subdue the dreams.
June 2007
6/14/2007 18:41:41 - Bad Hair & Civic Duties
I go on tv with bad hair to protest Chevron, after risking felony volunteering for a nonprofit. All is good in the name of civic duty, right?
July 2007
7/16/2007 8:58:26 - More Conversations With Terry Gross
Some people will say I am crazy, and you know they would be right. These are my conversations with Terry Gross and Jay the meth dealer.